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Enchanted Objects: Buy-Sell-Trade Group, YOU MUST BE APPROVED TO JOIN

Tina Connolly's books include the Ironskin and Seriously Wicked series, and the collection On the Eyeball Floor. She has been a finalist for the Hugo, Nebula, and World Fantasy awards. She co-hosts Escape Pod, runs the Toasted Cake podcast, and is at tinaconnolly.com.

NotSoEvilQueen: Magic Mirror for sale, $200 OBO
Pros: Identifies potential supermodels, could be useful to someone operating a business. Cons: Beauty is a construct, reinforces the problematic status quo (PATRIARCHY). I'll definitely say I've had enough therapy by now that I know this mirror needs to leave my house!!!
SWhite: Half-Eaten Apple, free
This is just to say
I have eaten the apple
which you
gave me
and which
you apparently
with your own hands
forgive my candor
but I am
> NotSoEvilQueen: Okay but be mad at the SYSTEM, not me
> SWhite: I can be mad at both
also a
maybe you could have
reflected on
your role in the patriarchy
ModeratorElla: Just a reminder that I created this group so we could support each other! Please try not to be snarky. Everyone has their own process in working through the trauma around acquiring these items. (Or the trauma of what other people did to try to acquire them; if I never see another bloody foot it will be too soon.)
> SmolMermaid: Geez, post a content note for gruesome feet stuff, Ella.
> ModeratorElla: Oh gosh, I'm sorry. :(
DancerGirl: Red Shoes For Sale, Worn Once
CONTENT NOTE FOR GRUESOME FEET STUFF: Yeah, so I had to dance in these until I cut them off, so obvs they're pretty awful but idk, maybe I deserved it??
> NotSoEvilQueen: Okay, first of all you did NOT deserve it, and second, AGAIN, that is a tool of the PATRIARCHY saying that women who have genuine pride in their talents need to be punished.
> SmolMermaid: First, thanks for the CN.
> SmolMermaid: Second, #accurate.
> SmolMermaid: Third, if anyone sees a magic seashell come through this forum, it's my singing voice and I would like it back please.
Giant'sWife: Golden Harp, reward offered.
Has anyone seen this? It has sentimental value.
ModeratorElla: Should we start a new thread just for Lost & Found?
> SWhite: Good idea. I lost my faith in humanity, did anyone find it?
NotSoEvilQueen: What about $50 for the mirror? It could be an unusual conversation piece.
> SWhite: What about $5,000 for my own therapy?
> NotSoEvilQueen: I thought one of those guys put you on their health insurance.
> SWhite: Ok boomer, the diamond mine does not recognize poly.
ModeratorElla: Okay, folks, no fighting in the comments. This is a friendly SUPPORT group and it's supposed to be NO DRAMA. Join the "Magic Done Me Wrong, NO HOLDS BARRED" group if you want to argue.
> SWhite: Okay, but saying that nobody can talk about the status quo being wrong ENFORCES the status quo
> SmolMermaid: I appreciate all the work you do, Ella, but I agree with SWhite.
> Giant'sWife: Following this discussion.
NotSoEvilQueen: What if someone just TAKES the mirror off my hands. Anyone?
> SmolMermaid: Do you think they'd take it in recycling?
> SleepingBeautiesStillHaveBoundariesDammit: Honestly, I think it should be smashed, those things are how you get stalkers
> SmolMermaid: Okay how about Hazardous Waste
DancerGirl: I just want to say thanks to NotSoEvilQueen and SmolMermaid because they gave me the push to FINALLY start therapy!! And surprise! my therapist ALSO agreed no one deserves welded-on make-you-dance-forever shoes. So now I just want to dispose of them, too. Did you have any luck with Hazardous Waste, NotSoEvilQueen?
> NotSoEvilQueen: No. :-(
ModeratorElla: Okay can I be honest? Some days it's so heartwrenching moderating this group. We are not the ones who created these problems. We need a way to dispose of these horrifying objects safely so they don't hurt any more people.
> SmolMermaid: #truth
> SWhite: What if we take them all back to the people who gave them to us?
> NotSoEvilQueen: I am NOT in favor of this idea. Remember that the real problem is the PATRIARCHY, and that some of us were tools of it, but have GROWN since that time.
SmolMermaid: Ok!!! I texted a friend who does this for a living and she said she would totally offer us a group discount if we want to take her online class into how to safely transform and/or disenchant things!!! Then we could turn this group into DISenchantment support! Who's in????
> DancerGirl: OMG ME
> NotSoEvilQueen: Me also!
> ModeratorElla: Thirding
> SWhite: Here for this
PersephoneHasJustLeftHell: Pomegranate Seeds, $5 each
Hi, new person here. I hate to sell these without warning that eating them will imprison you in literal hell with my ex BUT I really need to make rent. Maybe they could be made into jewelry??
> NotSoEvilQueen: Oh honey child. We're here to help you. Come on in.
The End
This story was first published on Tuesday, October 27th, 2020

Author Comments

I had so much fun writing this whole thing, but ESPECIALLY SWhite.

- Tina Connolly
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