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Dear Jezzy: How Can a Devil Make an Angel Say Yes?

by Sarina Dorie

Sarina Dorie is the author of award-winning, YA paranormal romance novel, Silent Moon. Her Puritan and alien love story, Dawn of the Morning Star, is due to come this year with Wolfsinger Publications. She has sold over 80 short stories to markets like Daily Science Fiction, Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction, Orson Scott Card’s IGMS, Cosmos, and Sword and Laser.

By day, Sarina is a public school art teacher, artist, belly dance performer and instructor, copy editor, fashion designer, event organizer and probably a few other things. By night, she writes. As you might imagine, this leaves little time for sleep. You can find info about her short stories and novels on her website: sarinadorie.com.

The Undead Times, March 20, 2014

Dear Jezzy,

I've been courted by a vampire for six years. We see each other every night. He says he loves me. I know I love him, but he never mentions marriage. Do you think he's going out with me just for what he can get?

- Merryweather

Dear Merryweather,

I don't know. What's he getting?

- Jezzy

The Immortal Herald, March 20, 2014

Dear Jezzy,

I've been going with this angel for a year. How can I get her to say yes?

- Devil

Dear M. Devil,

What's the question? Will she sign your black book?

- Jezzy

Confidential to Holly, Jolly Man in a Red Suit: If you're experiencing a slump in your relationship during the summertime months, keep the spirit of the season alive the rest of the year with things that remind you of Christmas. Consider some whips, collars, and bondage gear. Maybe it's time to use that workshop to make some toys for yourself.

Confidential to Bogeywoman: You love your job but you're feeling a little unhappily ever after? Having a career where the majority of your work hours are at night is probably pretty difficult for finding a date. If you've already found that vampires, grim reapers, and incubi aren't for you, consider tooth fairies, Easter Bunnies, Santas, or shoe elves. Some of them might even have breaks at the same time as you and could meet you up for a fifteen-minute make out session in a client's closet. Who says bogeywomen can't have a happy ending?

Jezebel Lincoln has worked as a mystic, fairy godmother, and muse. She's been writing advice columns since 1612. Her columns are syndicated by Charming Industries to The Immortal Herald, The Undead Times, Lower Worlder Press, and other smaller publications in the fairy realm.

The End

This story was first published on Wednesday, July 8th, 2015

Author Comments

I originally got the idea to write the Dear Jezzy columns while working on my novel, Wrath of the Tooth Fairy, which takes place in the same paranormal/fairytale world. After Daily Science Fiction started publishing the first seven Dear Jezzy stories, I started to receive fan mail which was pretty exciting. Someone mentioned Dear Jezzy on the SFWA forums. In rejection letters from other magazines, editors made comments on other stories like, "Thanks for submitting, but this story isn’t right for us. By the way, I just read your latest Dear Jezzy story and loved it."

I still have more Jezzy advice columns in my head and thought I would submit some more. DSF accepted them, so the world of paranormal creatures continues to benefit from Jezzy's love advice. If you would like to read the other Dear Jezzy, it is available here: Dear Jezzy. More free short stories by Sarina Dorie are available here: sarinadorie.com/writing.

- Sarina Dorie

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