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Dear Jezzy: I Dream of Djinn

As a child, Sarina Dorie dreamed of being an astronaut/archeologist/fashion designer/illustrator/writer. After years of dedication and hard work, most of Sarina's dreams have come true; in addition to teaching art, she is an author/copywriter/artist/fashion designer/belly dancer. She has taught English overseas in South Korea and in the JET program in Japan, where she felt like an alien much of the time which inspired numerous stories. She has shown her art internationally and sold illustrations to magazines and currently works as a high school art teacher.

Sarina's paranormal romance novel, Silent Moon, published by Soulmate Publishing, won second place in the Duel on the Delta Contest, second place in the Golden Rose, third place in the Winter Rose Contest and third in the Ignite the Flame Contest. Her alien versus Puritan love story, Dawn of the Morning Star is to come out next year with Wolfsinger Publications. Her unpublished novel, Wrath of the Tooth Fairy, won first place in the Golden Claddagh and in the Golden Rose contests. She has sold short stories to over thirty-five magazines and anthologies including Fantasy and Science Fiction Magazine, Daily Science Fiction, Cosmos, Penumbra, Sword and Laser, Perihelion, Bards and Sages, Neo-Opsis, Flagship, Allasso, New Myths, Untied Shoelaces of the Mind, and Crossed Genres to name a few.

Now, if only Jack Sparrow asks her to marry him, all her dreams will come true. Visit her at sarinadorie.com.

The Modern Fairy Weekly, August 5, 2014
Dear Jezzy,
I have been dating a muse for a hundred years. About fifty years ago, he moved in with me. About ten years after that, I started hinting I'd like to get married. He didn't acknowledge the hints. After another ten years, I flat out told him. He said he didn't want to be tied down to another immortal for all of eternity. I'm pretty happy most of the time except for this one aspect of our relationship. One of my friends suggested I hire a genie to grant my wishes to come true: ask for my boyfriend to propose to me as my first wish, ask for him to get a job as my second wish, and ask for him to contribute to rent as my third. I'm not sure if magic will work on him because his natural muse abilities might repel other magical creatures' powers.
What do you suggest?
--Dreaming of Djinn
Dear Dreaming,
It's time to take your head out of the clouds and check in with reality. You need to dump your loser boyfriend--he doesn't have a job and he lives with you and doesn't pay rent!--and start dating someone better. You know what they say about a muse out of a job; they aren't any better than a succubus--and far less a-musing.
You don't need to get a djinn to cure your commitment-phobic boyfriend. Do you truly want a flakey, flightly muse who will leave you in your most passionate moment anyway? You need to change what you want. Start dating a djinni. These powerful spirits have the ability to travel vast distances, are made of smokeless fire, and are smokin' hot. Most people know about the djinni, or genie, of the lamp, but did you know they also have a fondness for jewelry?--As in the genie of the ring. Who doesn't want a ring that comes with a life-long commitment? After this bad boy makes your wish come true, I guarantee you'll be saying, "I dream of djinn."
Confidential to Santa: Stop sending me letters about the torrid affairs you have with elf vixens in the North Pole toy workshop. You are making me jealous. P.S. What's with the cookie fetish? You do know 1 in 10 immortals suffer from diabetes, right?
Confidential to Myself: Once again I should take my advice and start dating a genie. Or a Santa.
Jezebel Lincoln has used her crystal ball and magic mirror for hundreds of years looking for her own Mr. Right. Since every handsome catch is either married or a celibate kraken, she frequently settles on a Mr. Right Now. She's been reading whiny letters from desperate immortals since 1612, occasionally finding some hunky immortal she is interested in dating. Her columns are syndicated by Charming Industries to The Immortal Herald, The Undead Times, Lower Worlder Press and other smaller publications in the fairy realm.
The End
This story was first published on Wednesday, December 31st, 2014

Author Comments

Read the other stories to date in Sarina Dorie's Dear Jezzy series.

- Sarina Dorie
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