Three Reasons Why Your Experimental Planet Needs Humans
by Intisar Khanani
What do you really want from your personal experimental planet? Grassy prairies, open bush veldts, lions chasing gazelles to the quiet lowing of water buffalo? Or perhaps a dinosaur playground? After a few millennia, it all gets old. Humans, however, never get old. They die at an alarming rate, certainly, but they are equally wonderful at multiplying, and will rush your planet forward in a headlong flight toward species supremacy that can only end with a bang!
Still not convinced? Here are our top three reasons to seed your play planet with humans today:
1. Humans never give up! No matter what predator you add to the mix, you can count on humans to find a way to survive. Not only that, but they are biologically driven to eventually eliminate every other major predator. Worried this will end in a boring monoculture of human habitat? Fear not! Humans' urge to establish dominance will typically result in the catastrophic wholesale destruction of the planet's environment and atmosphere, which makes for excellent viewing--super storms! Earthquakes and tsunamis! In truly advanced cases, the magnetic poles may even switch! Truly a phenomenon not to be missed.
2. Humans are inventive! While they have periods of exceptionally slow growth, if you seed your planet widely enough, there will be new discoveries in different places all the time. Watch the invention of the wheel occur simultaneously in vastly different cultures! Marvel at the development of writing! Wonder at the obsessive focus on creating better ways to kill one another! There really is no end to human inventiveness. In some cases, humans will even attempt to make contact with other life forms off their planet, all while you watch!
