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Edmond Lambington was not a clever man. He spent his money on lottery tickets and used the winnings to purchase stars. This was back when orbs of hydrogen and helium were gag gifts.
Own a Star! Online companies advertised in big, print letters. Pay now and name a red dwarf after your dead dog.
Edmond Lambington purchased fourteen stars over an interest-free period of sixteen months.
"It's just a bit of fun," he told his cousins and nieces and nephew, each one of them the beneficiary of a digital receipt and a gift faraway.
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"A bunch of hot air," the family called it. The Lamingtons were not a materially-focused bunch.
It was too bad that Edmond hadn't put his winnings toward something useful, like stocks in space travel, insurance, or a funeral casket. When Edmond died, his estate consisted of a rundown townhouse (quickly demolished) and a hot and humming computer (expertly scrapped). He also left behind a bitter clan of relatives.
Underneath the advertising companies' big, print letters were their Terms and Conditions, size four font: All stars are non-refundable. Supernova clean-up responsibility of owner.
The End
This story was first published on Thursday, October 13th, 2022
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